Tuesday, July 12, 2011


I can’t deny it, I am addicted to my computer, with all of it’s wonderful attributes.  I can’t imagine going back to writing on a typewriter and having to correct mistakes with eraser fluid or redo the whole document.  I can’t imagine getting along without Power Point and all of it’s possibilities.  I love the internet and the ease of finding information on, really, any subject in the world, and the speed of e-mail, and the ease of having friends everywhere, even if they are people that only exist in the computer for all I know.  How in any other way would I have been able to make contact with so many people from so many places?  I can’t remember the last time I have written a letter (and I used to write a lot!) – if you don’t have e-mail, you don’t exist.

I feel really significant and important – if you “google” me, you will get a lot of results!  I exist because I can be found on Google!!!! I remember showing this to my brother, who is not found on Google – he was very impressed!  One of the few things about me that has impressed him in a long time, I think….

But I have a problem with the idea that this machine is smarter than me and can mess up my life so easily. 

I can be working very happily, and suddenly, everything freezes.  The computer refuses to continue, and notifies me that the program has stopped working.

Fatal Error!!!!  One of the most blood chilling phrases that I know of!!!  Have I really killed it?  Will it be able to recover or has everything been lost????  Help!

Things that get sent back because of server errors, or all sorts of other incomprehensible (to me) excuses…I feel very stressed…And why does my email program agree to send some things and not others??? Or to receive some things and not others??? Why can I sometimes upload things to the internet and other times no tricks will help, there is just refusal time after time!

Then there was the wonderful program that I downloaded, for editing photos.  I was so pleased with the results I was getting.  And then, suddenly, one day it announced – “Your trial period is over, and the program has shut down.”  No advance warning, nothing – just gone.  The only thing left was the useless icon showing that once the program did exist on my computer.  And of course, in closing down, it took my photos with it into the black hole of cyberspace.

I still find the idea of viruses and all of these various diseases that infect poor vulnerable computers very hard to understand.  It is not so easy to understand viruses in living things – how can there be viruses that infect a machine?  How can there be people that spend their time developing these diseases?  Do they do it so that then there can be people who spend their time developing cures???

And then there is connectivity, a word that I never heard of before.  Suddenly, that little red light appears on the little black box (modem??router??whatever!) and there is no internet, no mail – I am isolated! I am alone! I am not in contact anymore!!!!

Habibi usually lies next to my chair when I am working on the computer, and finds it very amusing to hear me scream, “No!  Don’t close down on me!  I haven’t saved that yet!!!! Stop it, stop it, stop it!”  He knows I won’t get an answer.  Sometimes he gets up and shoves his nose under my arm to stop me from typing, and looks at me in pity – really, there are much better ways to spend time…after all, he is always here to connect with me…

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